Going to the Dark Side….

3 May

Stack of powdered doughnuts

 

In our extreme fat loss classes these are the types of struggles that are very common, we don’t just help people understand their food choices.  We provide them other people with shared experiences.  Some of whom (me) have come out of the other side.  For information on how to join click here.

If you have been reading my blogs (and not just enjoying my recipes) you’ll know that I have struggled with my weight all of my life.  I didn’t need to worry or struggle with my weight when I was in highschool, but I did and this certainly lead to a path of unhealthy living and eating, which of course lead to me actually needing to worry about my weight.  Over the past 25 years or so, I have learned a lot from my successes and failures…more from my failures than my successes since most of my successes were achieved by the wrong means.  One thing I have realized and really owned recently (by recently, I mean today) is when I begin going to that dark place….any of you who have struggled with their weight know what I am talking about.  It’s that time when you start getting frustrated, the weight is not coming off and you are focusing on the numbers.  No matter how much you or anyone else tells you that you look great and the numbers don’t matter, you are brought back to that logic that got you to where you are in the first place.  Numbers, numbers, numbers…logic doesn’t matter…self destruction begins…

I feel myself going there.  I don’t know why, but I think that by writing about it and owning it, it will help me get through it and hopefully help someone else that may be going through it.  I realized I was going there today when I was walking through Walmart and saw a bag of powdered donuts…suddenly, I had this urge to eat the entire bag.  What is crazy is that I became very aware that this sudden urge to eat this bag full of sugar and carbs was a signal that I was getting frustrated with my progress.  That has never happened before…

PROGRESS??????

I feel like this is a major step in my journey to “be the person I am meant to be”.  To be aware of the triggers that can lead you back to the person you used to be is a HUGE accomplishment and in 25 years of struggling with my weight, I have never chosen to listen to those triggers.  I am listening now.  I know that bag of donuts could have been the turn in the road that lead to self-destruction and am so proud that I have been able to listen to my body and my mind.  People always say that to lose weight you need to find out why you are eating the way you do, find the underlying reason….

I think that’s bullshit for the most part.

Of course there may be certain situations where some traumatic event occurred in someone’s life which lead to a life of overeating, but for the most part, we are overweight because we make bad choices and form bad habits because we don’t know any better!  I am not going to blame my mother, my father, how I grew up or a bad relationship for the condition I let my body get to.  It was my fault and now it is time to fix what I have broken.

I am not sure if this will get me out of my “dark place” but the fact that I am aware I am starting to go to my “dark place” (and now so are thousands of other people) I know I will get through it and be stronger (mentally and physically) than I was a week ago.

Sorry, no recipe with this one…just me and my words 🙂  Keep working hard, don’t give up and don’t buy the bag on donuts…I didn’t….

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