The Perfect Burger with Plaintain Chips

2 May

Let me start out by saying, it’s May 1st and it’s supposed to snow in Minnesota….Screw this weather!!!!!!!!!  I will not be confined to my kitchen!!!  Regardless of my gutterless house dripping cold drops of water on me as I go out to the grill…I will NOT cook my burgers in my grill pan tonight!

Ok, enough complaining about the weather….I back squatted 240 pounds last night.  I am trying to work this into every conversation I have had today and I think people are a little weirded out when I start shedding my hoodie to show them the bruises across my back from the huge amount of weight I squatted.  I don’t really care about how uncomfortable it makes them…it’s all about me right now.  I am usually not so abnoxious about my accomplishments and stay pretty humble and quiet about them, but I never even fathomed the idea of back squatting this much since the most I have ever done in my 3 1/2 months of Crossfitting has been 165 pounds.  My goal was to break 200…..the back squat is now my favorite lift by far…for now….

Back to the burgers…I have been trying to create the perfect burger for years and when I finally realized that the only thing you need to do to make a great burger is add salt & pepper to some 80/20 beef and handle it as little as possible, I was a little irritated yet pleasantly surprised.  Don’t try making your burger meat fancy and gourmet.  If you want a gourmet burger, add gourmet toppings, otherwise, you lose the flavor of your beef.  On this burger, I have a slice of colby jack cheese (more power to you if you have the will power to give up cheese…I do not), a spoonful of all natural salsa, a tomato slice, avocado and a dollop of greek yogurt…all on top of 2 bibb lettuce leaves.

Another thing…where have plaintains been all my life?  I was going to make a simple salad with my burger tonight until I looked over and saw the plaintains I bought this weekend.  I have tried the store bought plaintain chips (which cost a fortune), and figured….I can do that!  I also made an alternate version with thicker slices of plaintains that were baked, smashed, seasoned and baked some more.  I prefer the chips, but both were delicious!


The Perfect Burger

  • 3 lbs 80/20 ground beef
  • Salt & Pepper
  • Toppings of your choice

In a large bowl add about 1 tablespoon of sea salt and 1 teaspoon of black pepper.  Mix with your hands just until mixed.  DO NOT overmix your meat – it will kill the texture of your meat!  Form into 6 patties about 3/4 to 1 inch thick…again…DO NOT over work the patties.  Form them until they are holding together and put on a pan.  Season both sides with salt and pepper.  This sounds like a lot of salt and pepper, but you need to season your food in order to enhance the deliciousness of the meat.  A lot of this seasoning will also end up in your grill along with all the drippings from your burgers as they grill.

Grill your burgers over medium high heat (on a preheated grill) for about 5-6 minutes per side for a medium burger.  Let the meat rest for 3-5 minutes before serving.


Plaintain Chips or Smashed Plaintains


  • 2 ripe plaintains (they are ripe when there is more black than yellow on the skin)
  • 2 tbsp melted coconut oil
  • salt and pepper
  • 1 tsp chili powder
  • 1 tsp cumin

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.  Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.  If you do not have a supply of parchment paper in your kitchen, you need to get some.  No more cleaning cookie sheets!!  Brush your cookie sheet with half of the melted coconut oil.

Peel the plaintains.  Plaintains are not as easy as bananas to peel, but not too difficult.  It’s kind of like peeling a banana that is not ripe.  Slice one of the plaintains thinly (1/8 of an inch).  Slice the other one in about 3/4 to 1 inch slices.  Place all of the slices on the cookie sheet without overlapping and brush the topside with the remaining coconut oil.  Season both the thin and thick slices with salt and pepper.  Mix together the chili powder and cumin and sprinkle over the thicker slices.  Bake for about 15 minutes. Remove from the over and turn all of the slices (a little annoying but well worth it!).  Take a glass cup and smash the thicker slices.  Bake for another 15 minutes, remove from the oven and try not to eat them all at once!

%d bloggers like this: